Win/Win, or not at all

One of the rarely mentioned benefits of having a strong awareness of what’s true for you is the sense of stability and serenity it grants you when you’re buffeted about by the desires, expectations and priorities of other people.

The stronger your sense of self is, the clearer you are on your principles, needs, and desires, the more clearly you can separate your emotions from the conflict and the more ably you can navigate the situation.

And, hopefully, because you’ve done all this self-work, you can clearly empathize and relate to the other person without giving ground on your own principles.

In the words of Stephen Covey, everything becomes win-win, or not at all.

And you’re fine with that.

Which in my opinion, is a valuable sense of enlightenment not to be overlooked in our haste towards Nirvana.

Your thoughts?


6 thoughts on “Win/Win, or not at all”

  1. I’ve noticed, Shanna, that you possess the ability to “clearly empathize and relate to the other person without giving ground on your own principles,” here in your comments. It’s nice.

    If evangelists (of every stripe) were as stable in their beliefs as to invite this kind of open dialogue, we’d probably have a much more peaceful world. Ya think?

    1. Why thank you, Rupa. I think it’s a learned skill though. And I hope to figure out how to teach it someday. So that we can all have less problematic discussions.

  2. I HEART YOU. You just put sovereignty (from Haviland) in your own words with wonderful succinctness. Thank you.

    I’ve got about half of this down pat – the empathizing part – but am still struggling with the unruffled part. Ehhh. If you write a post on how to be self-contained and safe without losing the empathy, I would love you even more. Just sayin’.

    1. Done! and done! At the very least, I can share *my* techniques. The might not work for everyone, but they’re the things I remind myself of when I’m tempted to become reactive.

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