Change Catalyst with Shanna Mann: Strategy & Support for Sane Self-Employment

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Look Sweetheart: Feeling Stuck Is What Makes You Grow

I have something I need to get off my chest. I know I’m a coach and I’m supposed to be enlightened and understanding and stuff, but every time somebody says to me, “Ugh. I’m so stuck. I don’t know what to do, but I just hate this feeling.” I want to shake them by the lapels and drag them up close until our noses are touching and hiss, with little yanks for emphasis:

THAT.  *shake shake* Is the fucking. *shake shake* POINT

[That’s tough love, right?]

Anyway. Look, human beings are such that when they feel comfortable, they are completely unmotivated. Well, that’s not true. They’re actually VERY motivated by the thought of losing that comfort. But you will note that they generally don’t risk actual DISCOMFORT to do so. At least not new discomfort. Paradoxically, people will often accept heaps of discomfort, as long as it is MORE OF THE SAME DISCOMFORT they’re used to.

[Am I ranting? It feels like I’m ranting. Oh well.]

But anyway. Humans, being human, LOVE comfort and routine. And if they can’t have both they’ll take routine, because it gives them a false sense of control.

All this adds up to the fact that “feeling stuck” is nature forcing you to feel uncomfortable enough that you will abandon the security blanket of routine and make some damn changes.

So when you tell me feeling stuck is uncomfortable, I pretty much have to laugh. It’s not uncomfortable enough yet, or in spite of your protests that you don’t know what to do, you would start making changes out of pure desperation just to make the discomfort stop.

And might I add that, just like your mother harping at you to clean your room, life is way more fun and adventurous if you don’t wait until your life is such pure hell that you have to make changes. I mean, the more you have to lose, the more you’ll wait to be sure until you pull the trigger, but it’s worth being aware that you’re biased for the status quo, so you don’t wait until the pot is about to boil before you hop out.