Gratitude is not something I spend a lot of time on. I thank people for their kindnesses when they happen. I tend to notice when people go out of their way for me. I especially notice when people do me an honor, like when a particularly private friend shares something intimate with me. But I don’t have a gratitude journal. I’m not really mindful about the practice of gratitude. I’m just kind of … polite about it. It’s the Canadian way.
And sometimes things catch me off guard. I recorded some meditations. Not because I liked them– just to prove they could be done better than they generally were. I succeeded, but because I generally do, I didn’t really think much of it. Some friends of mine told me I should release it widely. So I made plans to… but first I had to explain how guided meditation, which often is like going on the slide at the playground as opposed to the cannonball drop at the summer fair, was the very least that they could do with meditation. It grew from an essay into a little book, and it was just the right size.
I liked the little book, because it was unlike anything I’d seen before, and I like to be original if I can. Beyond that, though, I had no conception of whether it was good or not. There’s just no way to judge your own work. You have to kick it out into the world and see how it fares.
But I was completely floored at the heartfelt testimonials I got. They knocked me back a little bit. People needed this? That much?
It reminded me of when I first started my practise, and my clients would tell me their secrets, and cry, and heal, and move forward. How honoured I felt to be a part of that. How wonderful and uplifting and compelling it was to change people’s lives so profoundly.
Today is American Thanksgiving, and though it’s not really my holiday, I feel so grateful and humble right now. As a healer and coach, I touch lives on a tiny, tiny scale, and at any given time there are multitudes I can’t help for every one that I can.
But giving birth to a little book that gave people peace, that forged change – there’s no higher result to live for.
For that I give thanks.