It’s great when you read an article, or a book that brings you a crystal-clear clarity about what you’re aiming for and what needs to shift in your life.
But then work gets in the way; the people you care most about aren’t convinced that this change is a good thing, or is even warranted. What was so bad about our life before you got this idea in your head?
It would be great if we all had a supportive, empowering eco-system within which we could thrive. Instead, most of us live in the proverbial bucket of crabs.
So what do you do if you want to achieve lasting change?
So what do you do? Assuming that cutting ties with everyone in your whole life isn’t going to work for you….
The first stage of change is the idea that things could really be different than they are now. In other words, conception. For many people this is the most exciting time. It’s intoxicating, the very idea that things could be different infuses people with energy, desire and enthusiasm.
Wait.
Stop right there. The first person you share this with can make or break this idea for you. Think carefully about who you want that person to be. Is your significant other a bit of a stick in the mud about new ideas? Or possibly a bit too prone to debate? Maybe you’d be better off having coffee with a friend to share these fabulous ideas.
If there’s literal no one in your circle who would be as excited by (or at the very least, supportive of) this thought as you, then do yourself a favour and journal about it. If you’ve never journalled, or don’t consider yourself a writer, go here and write a big huge stream of consciousness. Every thought you’re having about this new idea, write it down.
Write down everything
Two things will happen. First, your whirling brain will slow down. I guarantee it was going a mile a minute, and this will force you to find and articulate the main point and fill in the gaps from there. After that you’ll be able to see whether this new idea is worthwhile or feasible or whether it’s just not you.
Secondly, you’ll start to get an idea about how this new idea will work. You’ll probably have even more clarity about what will not work.
Have you ever had an experience like being a ‘crab in a bucket?’ Have trouble gaining support for change? Tell your story in the comments.
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Much surprised to recognise my face on the 11th crab along the 3rd Fibonacci spiral in that bucket.Have you read about Symbolic Self-Completion, or How Praise Burns Your Motivation to the Ground? Peter Gollwizter [insert many letters I don't remember here] has done some fascinating research about how others' reactions can dull our passion.Too bad I'm such an oatmeal head today or I could be more articulate about it.
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